The verdict — it is cancerous!
12th Oct 2019 is a day we will never forget.
If you came on this page directly, I suggest you read the following first to get a context —
Quick recap — The previous day on 11th Oct’19, we were reasonably prepared that Cancer has hit our family again and this time it was Dad and on his 74th birthday. We had met the Gastroenterologist and scheduled a Colonoscopy for tomorrow.
12th October, 6 AM
With silence on our faces and a storm inside, we (Dad, my sister and myself) reached the hospital in the early hours for Endoscopy and Colonoscopy which will either confirm our worst fears or give us a huge sigh of relief.
Since Colonoscopy requires the colon to be cleaned, Dad was made to have some liquid which will ensure he passes motion 8–9 times.
It was a long wait as close to 20 patients were present either for endoscopy, colonoscopy or both.
While Dad was going through the motions literally, we were shuttling in and out of the procedure room to give him comfort both mental and physical as due to going to motion so many times, weakness is natural and expected.
During this time I and my sister were talking about the days when our Mother went through this and since we had in our minds prepared ourselves for the worst to come, we were discussing how should we go about it. And yet we were praying that it is not Cancer.
After a while, my sister went inside and came out saying Dad is next for the procedure. Almost 3–3.5 hours had passed by since we reached the hospital.
As the waiting room was full, I was strolling here and there.
I exited the waiting room and went near the elevators as it had huge windows and one could see a good view of the hustle-bustle of people going about their daily lives.
Then I saw my sister looking here and there, expectedly for me and then I saw her face and heard those words which I will never forget…”It is cancer”, my heart sank. It’s one thing to expect the worst and another thing to face it.
She said Doctor is calling us inside to see it for ourself.
We rushed inside the procedure room, Dad was lying down (semi-conscious due to sedatives) Doctor was explaining a normal part of the Rectum and how it looks and then he showed a big mass which was bleeding, this was the Cancerous tumour.
Seeing the malignancy on the TV and the person (more so your own Dad) lying down in front of you, inside whom it is present is a traumatic experience... I wish no one has to see or go through it ever.
We went out full of emotions…we were silent for a while, then we gathered ourselves for Dad’s sake. If we break down, then even he will.
As he was under light sedatives, we waited till he was conscious.
We went inside…we couldn't gather the courage to tell him. He didn’t expect that we would know.
I told him “Don’t worry, whatever is the outcome, we have doctors and they will worry.”
As a typical parent, he answered — “I am already 74, my time is anyways short, just that if there is something serious then your life will get disrupted due to hospital trips for treatment.”
This is how parents are, even when they are going through worst, they will think about their children.
I and my sister both were in tears and somehow managed to not show him.
To divert our minds and emotions, we started talking about other things.
For colonoscopy, since fasting is required and on top of that medicines are given to clear the colon, patients are starving by the time the procedure is finished and they recover from mild-sedatives.
We asked for refreshments which were brought in 10–15 mins.
And then the waiting began to see the Doctor who had done the colonoscopy. We knew the result but were nervous as to how the Doctor would convey the same and more importantly how Dad would take this news.
Mondays and Saturdays are crazy in hospitals across as Sunday being a holiday and due to weekdays, people prefer coming on Saturdays. It was close to 2–2.5 hours more of waiting before we were asked to go inside the Doctor’s room.
Based on my past experience, I was confident how the Doctor would handle this.
He exceeded my expectations. My choice of coming to this Doctor was fruitful and right from all aspects.
He saw the report very calmly since he was the one who did the procedure and he was already aware.
Very as-a-matter-of-fact he said to Dad that there is a slight “thing”, please meet a Surgical-oncologist, I can recommend one who sits in this hospital (due to Hospital policy he was not allowed to recommend anyone outside the hospital network.
Since Dad also knew or had a strong suspicion, he was overall calm and composed, he clearly said he is not mentally prepared for any Chemo or any treatment as he had seen Mom suffered for close to 14 months. She eventually succumbed.
This is where how a Doctor talks is super-critical. Anyone can convey the news, its how you handle the Patients (and the family’s) emotion and concerns is what separates a great doctor who is patient-friendly and a great doctor who is just doing his/her job.
Doctor said, “Do you know how much MORE will you suffer if you don’t do any treatment? There is a problem, there is a path which let me be clear may not be all rosy and comfortable, but there is a better destination and we are here to hold you and take you to that destination, we will be there with you at all times.”
This itself gave all of us tremendous relief and confidence.
It’s not the disease which is scary, it’s the after-effects, side-effects and everything in between. So when a Doctor shows this much hope and confidence, it rubs on the patients as well.
When Doctor themselves scare, it aggravates the disease 10x than what it actually is and when they are confident and hopeful the disease at-least in our minds reduces tremendously. Doctor who have the art to assuage can help hasten patient’s relief & recovery and also lessen their and the relatives’ anxiety to a great extent.
With the suspense and mystery over, it was time to get into action and decide the next steps. We called our Family GP who had suspected it yesterday itself.
Interestingly our Family GP and the Gastro doctor used to refer to patients to one another when the Gastro doctor was in a previous hospital. But then I guess due to distance he stopped recommending.
Both knew each other very well, even though both seemed to have lost touch.
Our Family GP was not in favour of the Surgical-oncologist which Gastro doctor had recommended, however, he had worked before with the Doctor our Family GP had mentioned and had full faith in his skills.
We told our Family GP that we will call back once we leave to discuss the next steps.
With a lot of mixed feelings, to be honest, more on the negative side as it was confirmed that Dad had Colo-rectal Cancer, we thanked the Gastro-doctor and stepped out.
There is one more piece and a very important one, the Biopsy report. A lot can influence the treatment and prognosis, based on the findings of the Biopsy report and the dreaded question every patient and family has — what stage is the Cancer in?
It usually takes 3–4 days and being a weekend, it will be only Wednesday or Thursday by when we would come to know.
With the diagnosis in place, it was time to act on it.
We dialled back our Family GP, had a long discussion with him, he referred to an Onco-surgeon and also said he will fix an appointment for Monday 9 AM.
A long and tiring half-day came to an end.
It was just the beginning of really long and tiring full days…
