Can we just STOP to pretend that its all OK?
Rant — Now is NOT the time to be artificially ‘normal’!
What the world is going through the past 2 months is absolutely extra-ordinary and something no one would have ever imagined that such a thing will ever happen.
The global economy is shut. Barring essential services like Food, Medicines, Medical Care…almost everything else is shut. Like clothes its unreal to step outside your house with a Mask. Usage of sanitisers and hand-wash has become as normal and frequent as drinking 12 glasses of water in a spaced-out interval during the day.
All we can hope is that things return to normalcy ASAP.
This is not a post about the impact of Corona-virus…there are trillion of words/articles/airtime spent on it and continue to be spent on ALL media and social media channels.
This post is about how there seems to be a false belief that what's happening is actually disruption (wake up and smell the coffee types), WFH is cool, getting to learn new skills in these times is an opportunity, doing webinars and podcast is being in-demand, discover your hidden talent in various domestic chores like cooking and cleaning is like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Well…all the above is nothing but hubris and that you seem to be staying in a bubble of yours wearing tinted glasses which seem to show you nothing but a beautiful world out there.
WFH might be cool for those who are single, living with their parents or even better as singles far away from home.
It might be good for those returned from far-far away land where WFH is part of company policies and that they always said WFH should be part of policies in India too.
It might be great for those who have fairly older children, are in the peak of their professional careers and this offers them to save those hours in commute and get even more glued to their screens…hell they are the ones who schedule tons of meetings early morning, late into the night and they now have an excuse for their families that “there is so much work”, “its a struggle to do WFH”, “everyone is working 12–14 hours a day”, “I feel guilty if I am not on my screen every second of my waking life” and blah blah blah.
It might even be God-send for those with infants/toddlers/young kids but those who stay with their parents which enables them to pour the time saved from travel into meetings and working extra.
For thousands if not millions of middle-class, last 2 months has been nothing but extremely challenging at all fronts…this includes ME!
My anger levels are off the charts.
My irritation levels are making new records.
I am probably at my least productive in the last 1 year.
My ability to focus and be in the zone is less frequent than what it used to be.
I dread Mondays like someone is dreading stepping out in the fear of Covid.
Every hour not spent on the laptop, I feel guilty.
I am discovering a new me which I am not proud of.
As a Program Manager and a User Researcher, I have grown to be fairly extrovert and a lot of times in the day, I used to (pre-COVID) stroll across my office-floor and speak to people regarding work, a little bit of chit-chat. A lot of work got done in that stroll, fewer emails, fewer follow-ups, fewer confusions and misunderstandings…there was a sense of calmness at work even though we had deadlines, fires to fight, and so many things to worry about.
But now even for a 2 mins talk, I spend 10–15 mins looking for the person if they are online…most of them seem to be in meetings all day long and therefore I drop them a message to revert back whenever they are free. Hours pass by and no revert. My last resort is to book a calendar but then no slot available today, so I book for tomorrow. Then 2–3 mail exchanges that “sudden” meeting has come up and hence meeting has to be rescheduled.
Above is NOT an exception but the rule nowadays.
What could have been achieved with a casual stroll, takes hours and sometimes days to resolve? Multiple this if you work with different people and its hair-pulling, to say the least.
It’s bloody irritating! How the hell can anything be done with this reality.
Truth be told, initially 2–3 weeks I was very happy with this WFH thingy…it was kind of fashionable to spend all your waking time on the laptop. Its a rat race and family time can wait.
Honestly, it's not good…not for me and not for anyone in the long run.
Before you realise, a lot of damage would've been done.
As much as the reality that WFH is here to stay, what’s missing is the way we are getting addicted to it. Cocaine does make you feel good, but in the long run, its a serious addiction and only harms you and everyone around you.
WFH if not done well is like Cocaine.
Due to the ban on domestic-helps (from lockdown and social distancing), I call them the silent and invisible backbone for millions of households in India, domestic chores are stretching me and my spouse to the extreme. Due to manifold things to handle — cooking, cleaning, work, meetings, deadlines, stepping multiple times to buy groceries..we are not being able to spend time with our 3-year old as much as we used to do it before. With being at home 24 hours past months, my 3-year old is also getting bored and frustrated.
We have no option but to let him be on our devices so that we can get the “work” done. We are on the edge due to extra work, which leads to general anger and irritability at all times…this sometimes gets vented out on our son and instantly we feel even more guilty. My son is also on the edge as his parents are not spending time with him, he is not able to go out and play, he plays with the same toys since months…does the same puzzle 10-times a day.
Every second away from my son, I feel guilty…
Every second away from work, I feel guilty…
Every domestic -chore which I have to skip, I feel guilty…
Do you get the drift?
Though my salary is still coming on time, the future is uncertain. With business across down…you never know when salary-cuts or even lay-offs may be announced. One more thing to worry about in addition to all the things mentioned above.
And oh..my father under-went 12-hour surgery for Colo-rectal cancer in 2nd week of March and is undergoing Chemo every 3 weeks, mostly on a weekday, takes about half a day.
Due to his nature of Cancer, we had no choice but to go for a permanent Colostomy Bag for his motions…there is always a worry about leakage and twice it leaked on a Saturday night at 10 pm and I had to rush to pick up the nurse who typically comes every 6–7 days to change the bag.
We lost our Mom to cancer in 2013…so we are anyways paranoid about the illness and we have a lingering worry 24x7 at the back of our minds…in addition to other worries.
So tell me…how can all this be disruption as if its JUST a new product which displaced the earlier incumbent.
It’s an extremely challenging situation…my worry is everyone is behaving like if it's not. Like its just WFH which one should be happy for and that everything else is normal.
Days are passing by….we all are getting older…there is no concept of working hours and family hours…there is no recreation available…we are locked down within the 4 walls of our houses. It is extremely monotonous.
Above rant is not a sign of resignation that things will only get worst. History is witness that we WILL overcome this and a new world will emerge.
For many of us, a new world is already here and it’s time we acknowledge it and make the necessary changes as required.
Only when we accept, we become capable to endure and hopefully find ways to enjoy. Till then…it's only a facade and the damage is happening…it's invisible..until it cannot be contained and then shows the ugliness of it all.
Let’s all really slow down…it's ok, if :
One doesn't learn a new skill…
One doesn’t attend webinars and podcasts…
One doesn't become a better person…
If we all emerge as saner as we were, with as fewer scars mentally…I think that will be a big win.
Do not confuse your priorities. The current situation is begging to relook at your priorities.
